| It's not worth it. |
[May. 3rd, 2008|12:40 am] |
You're all fucking parasites, every last one of you. You use your livejournals to bitch and moan about life, and I am there for you. You whine when nobody remembers your birthday, but I give you birthday wishes. Kilroy, someone who I myself got into vore, and who I went out of my way to make a stupid birthday post, doesn't even bother typevoring me. Hell I could've offered myself to him with chocolate melted all over my body and aphrodisiacs to boot, and he would have me thrown in the garbage incinerator, like I wasn't even goot enough for the maggots at the city dump.
You don't understand how deeply metaphorical I am. I type words, and you just stare and gawk at them, not really thinking that there may be some hidden meaning. That maybe being eaten represented my self worth, you know, to be of value to someone else?
And then it hits me. How human all of us are. From the abrahamic religions, to the more athiest humanists. I mean, Ayn Rand, the champion of self worth, still measured her OWN worth as being needing of a man. Kind of dumb, right? I mean, arguing that just because guys have to be arroused to make sex happen that she was a second hander really doesn't make any sense. But reading her philosophy, I understand what she wanted. She valued a kind of person, and only valued herself to the extent that she was that person. That's kind of sad really.
And what about all you Christians, who talk about believing in Jesus. Maybe instead of praising his death, you should be going to church and crying for him. He's no mystic being. He's a human and he wanted to be loved. I can't compare to what he did, and frankly, you know what I've learned from him? That I don't WANT to be him. What about Ayn Rand, who has been said not to have practiced her philosophy? Maybe she just felt she wasn't good enough for what she created? She was a human, not a prophet. Stop treating her like a prophet, nobody's a prophet. She's a good damned human.
And what about Moot? It really pisses me off that in the middle of a /b/reakdown, everybody's posting as him. But Moot, perhaps he is too far gone. Maybe he will be remembered after his death, which will likely come if I know anything about Scientology. Yeah, Moot's gonna get V& and you know how people will remember him? By the memes he created. Fucking stupid isn't it?
People remember Stars' Pyre because he died. I didn't know him at all but I think I should make something clear... he's NOT a good person for dying. He's a good person for living as long as he did under the harsh, cold, bitter conditions that he did. And Palshife... do you think people look to her and think of the happiness she gave her friends? No, because maybe sometimes she acts selfish. But she has any right to. And you know if she ever dies, people won't remember her because she did good. The part that pisses me off, the clincher, is this: They will remember Palshife because I am stalking her.
Iconox, you were right. John Galt wouldn't do what I have done. But if reading Atlas Shrugged has taught me one thing, or even just having it spoiled for me, it's that people won't remember you for who you are until you deny them the opportunity to remember you for anything else. John Galt made a strike happen that taught the world how much they needed him. And I'm gonna follow in his footsteps.
I am going on strike. I'm leaving the internet. I'm going to a rehab facility that will rid me of my intense obsessions, but more than that, I won't be coming back. I think I'll still try making it to furry cons and using E-mail, but that's about it.
You won't get to do anything with me. I'll be gone. This time it's not for a year, it's forever. And you won't ever see me again, hear me again, or anything like that. You won't even get a taste.
PS: I'm not leaving just this second. I want to get as many other kindred spirits to do the same. I may taste like coconuts but I'm no coconut myself. |
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starblade_enkai's journal
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